Afraid to look ahead.......

This pretty much sums it up lately. When I look back at the last few months, it brings me to tears. So much has happened that will change our lives forever. I can replay the day they did a full physical on Ariauna to determine what she had, I can replay the day they told me she had Fanconi Anemia just like they were yesterday. Those two moments broke my heart like it has never been broken before. It does hurt to look back, but even more than that, I AM AFRAID TO LOOK AHEAD. I truly try to keep busy all day everyday so I don't have time to sit and think about it. Because when I do, it brings me to tears. Some days I wonder if I will forever live my life on the verge of tears. My dad sent me this picture awhile ago, and I have left it on my phone to look at, and to remind myself that when I can not look ahead or it hurts to look back to just look beside me.  My dad mentioned he thought it should say "Look beside you and there will be your family". I am so grateful today for my family. I know my family thinks about us all day, everyday. I am truly blessed to be part of such a great family. I am grateful for my family and friends that are helping me through each and everyday.  When it hurts to look back and I am afraid to look ahead; I know I have many people I can look to on the side.  I am grateful for each of you!  With much love, Natalie