Outpatient Day 7.......

Ariauna and I got up bright and early today to go to church. Here we are ready to go to church and Ariauna thought it would be funny to catch me texting on my phone. Kit had to get in her Sunday clothes too so she could go to church with us.

The Gould's came to pick us up at 8:45, Ariauna was so excited to go to church today with their girls. They do Sacrament meeting last so when we got there they showed me where Relief Society was and they took Ari and went to Primary. I met a few new sisters and several gave me their phone numbers in case I need anything. Relief Society was good and then I went to Sunday School. It was so good to be in church and feel of the spirit today. It was just what I needed to give myself a spiritual boost. I can tell you it is so weird to be in a state where you can't just reach out and touch another member of the church. The chapel filled up just like it does at home, but their boundaries are huge. They have to travel 15-20 minutes sometimes to go visiting teaching. I have learned the hard way, that we take for granted so much living in Utah where the church is so prominent. There are wonderful people here in Minnesota, members of our church and other religions. I am grateful for each one of them, we have had so many people who have touched our lives forever. Today I needed to be in church and I needed to hear what they had to say. I think the Sacrament talks were planned and prepared just for me. The first part of the talks today they simply said "Heavenly Father knows you, he knows who you are and what you are going through". I just started to cry. Another thing that hit me hard was when they mentioned that we need to "Be of Good Cheer".  Then they told us to make a triangle and at the top of the triangle to write "Do good", on one corner write "Trust God" and on another corner to write "Don't Worry". I don't know why all these things hit me today, I have heard them numerous times in my life but it is exactly what I needed. I came away feeling so blessed for being there and feeling like maybe I could make it through the next week. There is just something about being able to attend church, sing with the congregation and feel of the spirit. I was grateful to the Gould's for helping us get there and so grateful that we went. Here is Ariauna with The Gould girls. We just adore them and their family.

I had a little bit of a rough rest of the day. During Sacrament meeting there was a cute little 2 year old boy next to me who kept driving his cars by me and wanting me to play. I couldn't help but play with him and spent the rest of my Sunday missing my family. What I wouldn't give to give them all a great big hug. I miss them all so much. I can not even describe the loneliness I fill for my husband and kids. Being separated is just literally killing me. I spent the rest of the afternoon having anxiety being away from them. I am again so grateful for my parents who are pretty much raising them right now and for Jerry. I think I married the best guy in the world. I am so lucky to have him as a husband and a dad to my kids. I know he is having a tough time at home. This journey we are having is something we never imagined in our lives. We never would have imagined being where we are today. It is unbelievable how fast things in life can change. This is not just hard on Ariauna and I, it is hard on our entire family and our extended family. I found myself numerous times today feeling down, having little cries here and there and some what having a pity party. We are only a week down and still have so many to go. I don't know that I can do this for 4-5 months. I know this sounds crazy, but I really miss running Austin to swimming and polo and having that time to talk to him. I miss my sweet Sadie and her coming into my room every morning to snuggle, I miss Jaxon and all the cute, funny little things he does and says to make us laugh and I miss my best friend and husband being there for me when I just need a hug. Life is not the same without your family around and I hate having my family separated. There are several families that are all here together and I am jealous. I know we are taught not to be jealous, but I am. I wish Jerry had the kind of job that he could just move over here with me and work from the room. Unfortunately, that is not the case for us. So I will have my moment of crying and then try to pick myself up and move forward. I am grateful that the kids seem happy at home. It would be so much more difficult if they were crying for me on the phone or upset. I love getting pictures and talking to them and seeing and feeling that they are doing okay and are happy. We had quite a lazy day the rest of the day. We tried to take a rest,  Ariauna did the dishes for me, she played with some friends outside and I tried to get some blogging done. Tomorrow we will have more appointments and another busy week.